![]() Keep in mind that the shift from a primary emotion like fear or sadness into anger mode is typically quite fast and unconscious. If it’s hard to notice anything but the anger, start by exploring your thoughts, as those are what fuel all emotions. So, next time you’re feeling anger – whether mild or strong – pause for a moment to check in with yourself and see if you can identify the primary emotion driving the anger. While having some “sense of control” is correlated with greater emotional wellbeing, excessive desire for control only leads to suffering, as it’s impossible to always be in control, especially of other people’s behavior. Even boredom can generate anger or irritation because there can be a subtle sense of loss or fear associated with the experience of not engaging in something stimulating or productive. Why? Because uncertainty touches upon the “unknown,” which tends to be scary for most people. Uncertainty – when you lack ample information and things feel amorphous – can also trigger anger. In these instances, it’s a combination of fear and anticipatory loss that can fuel the anger. ![]() When anger arises between couples sometimes there’s a fear of abandonment underneath. Essentially, anger can be a means of creating a sense of control and power in the face of vulnerability and uncertainty. In contrast to fear and sadness, anger can provide a surge of energy and make you feel more in charge, rather than feeling vulnerable or helpless. ![]() One way to do this is by subconsciously shifting into anger mode. Because of this, people tend to avoid these feelings in any way they can. Fear includes things like anxiety and worry, and sadness comes from the experience of loss, disappointment or discouragement.įeeling fear and sadness is quite uncomfortable for most people it makes you feel vulnerable and oftentimes not in control. What does this mean? Typically, one of the primary emotions, like fear or sadness, can be found underneath the anger. What many people don’t realize is that anger is a secondary emotion. Unfortunately, however, far too often, the anger humans feel is being triggered by far less consequential factors than serious wrongdoing. Anger is an internal alarm that tells us something is not quite right. Why is anger good sometimes? Without feelings of anger, we wouldn’t take a stand against unfairness or injustice.
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